Wrong Thing To Say, Artie
by Rexivyara
Summary: A present for all you ArthurxSuzy fans out there. My failed attempt in making a drama romance-fic. Reviews appreciated.


**Rexivyara:** I own nuthin'.

It was... well, what you'd call the 'afternoon' in the House, and Arthur Penhaligon, Master of the Lower House and the Far Reaches, Duke of the Border Sea, Overlord of the Great Maze, Commander-in-Chief of the Glorious Army of the Architect, Lord of the Middle House, and, let's not forget, the Rightful Heir to the Architect's Will, was having a nice, calm, peaceful tea with a great friend of his, Fred, one of the Piper's children that had helped in his adventures in the House (one long sentence = one short paragraph).

The both of these two boys were silently watching the sun set as they sipped their hot tea, which was occasionally spilling due to the 'weather' in the House being a bit breezy on that day. Arthur let a content sigh escape his lips as he watched the has-been blue sky turn to a nice shade of orangey pink. "Y'know what, Fred? The House isn't really all that annoying when you're not caught up in some crazy adventure... and the fact that Dame Primus is not constantly out to get you."

Fred chuckled lightly in reply and set down his cup of tea on the small round white table. "I get you, Artie."

Arthur snapped his head in his friend's direction and growled. "Don't call me Artie."

Fred crossed his arms and pouted, leaning back on his chair. "Awww, c'mon, you always let off Suzy when she calls you 'Artie'," Fred puffed indignantly.

Arthur placed his head in his hands and turned back towards the setting sun. "She's just different..." Arthur silently whispered. Although Lord Arthur's reply was swept away by the whispers of the wind, Fred's sharp ears still managed to caught it, making him sit up straight on his chair and grin goofily in the young and respected 12-year-old boy's direction.

Fred cleared his throat loudly, as if he was trying to grab Arthur's ever-wandering attention. "Ahem!"

Arthur slowly turned his head around facing Fred's. He raised his eyebrows at Fred as if he was saying, "What is it?" Fred only grinned back more goofily in reply, which slowly brought Arthur back to his senses.

Arthur turned a deep shade of red when he repeated the few words that he had said to Fred momentarily ago. _"She's just... different..."_ he thought back.

Fred only grinned much more goofily in reply when he noticed the pink hue on his friend's cheeks turning redder by the passing minute. "Mmm-hmm...?"

At this point, as Arthur was opening his mouth to say something in his defense, Suzy was just a few miles away from them. The merry blue-eyed girl had been told by Monday's Noon, the Old Dusk, to fetch Arthur since Dame Primus has been calling from the past hour now to discuss about the Agenda. They hadn't managed to finish it yet due to Arthur had been drafted by the former trustee, Sir Thursday, and being caught up in another quest to search for Lady Friday's key. But since all was well and ended well, Dame Primus would be pestering the 12-year-old mortal boy until they finish the Agenda.

Though, what surprised Noon was that Suzy had volunteered ever-so-willingly to fetch Lord Arthur. _That girl never (and I _mean _NEVER, person who's reading my thoughts) volunteers for anything_, Noon thought as he was spying on Suzy, who was walking through the huge corridors of the mansion, designed and built especially for Lord Arthur in the House, humming a happy tune. "Hrmmm..." Noon muttered, deep in thought, "I need to inspect further in this," he mumbled in a low voice, at the same time thinking, _Now that I think it thoroughly, she's always volunteering in the job when Lord Arthur's involved..._

"Ya need to inspect further on wut?" a deep, gruff voice behind Noon asked him.

Noon, the man in question, nearly jumped ten feet high in the air in shock. Thank goodness that Suzy was too busy humming (and probably thinking about *wink, wink*) to notice Noon and blow his cover away. When Noon calmed down a bit and put on his I-am-as-cool-as-a-cucumber mask upon his handsome and stoic (think Pain, Naru-tards) face, he turned around and glared at the culprit who had made him lost his I-am-as-cool-as-a-cucumber mask for only around a minute - and let me tell you, readers, all stoic-faced jerks (think Black Butler, Black-Butler-tards) cannot lose their I-am-as-cool-as-a-cucumber mask when they're in public! That's just WAY wrong!

"What, in pray tell, are you doing sneaking up on me, Sunscorch?" Monday's Noon asked Sunscorch, the newly appointed Wednesday's Noon, through gritted teeth (hehehe... Noon's communicating with each other). Monday's Noon still felt a bit... pissed - is the right word.

Sunscorch, being a laid-back man who rarely losed his cool (not as rarely as Monday's Noon, though), only grinned innocently in reply. "I was just passing along, walking behind little missy over dar, when I saw your midnight-black hair poking out under the tablecloth."

Monday's Noon had to stop himself from rolling his eyes to revert his eyes away from Sunscorch's grinning towards the 'little missy'. "We'll talk later, Sunscorch," Noon told fellow Noon. "I'm currently... busy."

"Oh? Busy stalking little missy, I expect?" Sunscorch said loudly, well, loudly enough to make the 'little missy over dar' turn around and suspiciously scan the hall.

"Shhh!" Noon 'ordered' Sunscorch as his right hand hastily covered Sunscorch's mouth. The both of them waited in silence as Suzy slowly but carelessly scanned the hallway she was in. Monday's Tierce (or Monday's Morning Tea), Suzy, then turned back around, humming back the tune that she was humming a few minutes ago.

Monday's Noon sighed in relief when Suzy turned back around. The stoic non-jerk then turned his head around to face Sunscorch. "OK, you may follow me," he told Sunscorch, taking his right hand off of the fellow Noon's mouth and wiping it on his black trousers. Even though Monday's Noon used to be Monday's Dusk, the stoic man still found some comfort in wearing black clothes. "BUT," Noon blurted out a few minutes later, when they were continuing/creeping/stalking down the hallway, "no. Noise. Got that?"

Sunscorch nodded in reply, making a thumbs-up sign. "Sure, sure, Noon. Can we continue with tailing the little missy now? She's out of our 'radar'."

"Ummm... err, I meant..." Arthur continued several minutes later, when the slow boy got the point, "my words won't get through her - her... ummm, thick-headed skull."

Fred wagged his eyebrows at his friend rather... playfully? No. Seductively? WHAT? HELL to the _NO_! This is _my _Fred we're talking about! He is _not _GAY! OK, OK, keep yer panties straight, woman, is it tauntingly, then? Yes... growls. "Oh? Are you sure, my friend? I mean, are you really, _really _SURE?" he asked Arthur.

Arthur nodded his head vigirously in reply to Fred's question. "Y-yes, of course I am! I mean, why wouldn't I be?"

Fred grinned much more goofily (and not to mention more irritatingly) in Arthur's direction, as if he could read his ever-so-serious friend like a book. But that (annoyingly irritating) grin was taken off his face when he saw Suzy standing by the doorway to the balcony. She was wearing a baby blue dress, a white satin ribbon on her blonde curls (yes, I think Suzy should be a blondey, not one like Naruto, though), and a white apron to top of the dress. All in all, Suzy looked like a... girl (oh the horror *sarcasm*). And, for once, she... was... clean... OK, OK, I get it, all you Keys to the Kingdom series fans, I'm making a big deal out of this. But (for ONCE) she is clean! Suzy's always disheveled in the series. So, lemme be!

Fred waved at the girl in front of him. He could not believe that Suzy believed what he had said to her yesterday night.

OK, for all of you people out there who are curious to what Fred said to Suzy last night, not the ones who're thinking,_ Ohmygod, ohmyGOD! What happened last night? Tell me right now, you stupid fan-fiction writer! Did they *BLEEEEEEP*? _I mean, that's just plain WRONG! They are children for God's sakes ("AND Suzy belongs to Arthur!" screamed out an ArthurxSuzy fan somewhere over that ever-so-reminiscing rainbow).

Well, anyways, what happened last night was that Suzy had asked Fred what kind of girls that he'd thought Arthur would like, and Fred had immediately answered that Arthur would like girls who wear frilly dresses and ribbons on their hair. But Fred had only answered in the spur of the moment. He hadn't really known what kind of girls that Arthur would really like. But, alas, before Fred managed to correct his mistake, Suzy was gone like the wind.

Fred suspected that his friend, Suzy not Arthur, had went off to find frilly dresses and ribbons from God knows where. Because last week Suzy had told him that she have been crushing on the Rightful Heir, and not to mention extremely and typically dense boy since she's been giving Arthur 'hints' and he's, like, IGNORING them (I pity Arthur and his dense ways)._ This may have been the sole reason that she was giving Arthur the cold shoulder in the first place_, Fred had thought when Suzy zoomed off. "Oh, well, boys weren't very good at dealing with girls in the first place," Fred had sighed when he went back into the mansion to have a 'talk' with his girlfriend (OH, YEAH, B*****S! Fred has a girlfriend - which is an OC, and by the way do me a favor and please not think that it was Dame Primus or anything. That is just _gross_).

"Oh, hello there, Suzy," Fred greeted Suzy cheerfully as he waved his left hand at her, feeling a tad bit suspicious of the very-suspicious-looking tuft of midnight-black hair poking out of the curtain behind Suzy. _Is it some kind of Nithling? _Fred pondered. _Or is it...? The commisionares can't be that careless._

Arthur nearly jumped out of the chair he was sitting on when he heard Fred say "..., ... ..., Suzy," making Fred, the Piper's child at fault, to chuckle inwardly in reaction. Arthur hastily swiveled around his chair, nearly falling off the chair, again,in the process. "Oh, hi, Suzy," he croaked out, not managing to find his voice. The 12-year-old boy then noticed Suzy's attire, making him scrunch up his face in confusion. "Ummm... Suzy? Why are you wearing... that...?" Arthur asked the girl.

This time Fred didn't even bother canning his amusement as he watched the two lovebirds. "Wrong thing to say, Artie," Fred told his soon-to-be-in-deep-#$*% friend when he noticed Suzy's aura turning a bit... well, all you gals out there should know (as for the dense boys, try _thinking_).

"...?" But Artie's confusion was solved as soon as his two deep brown eyes laid upon Suzy. If you're a-wondering on what the heck's going on with Suzy. To put it as clear as day, she was pissed. What kind of girl who had the trouble to roam all around the middle house looking for a friggin dress for her all-time crush and now has blisters because of it NOT be pissed? Not any sane girl, that's for sure. _Ohhhhhh, hoogledy-poogledy... _Arthur 'cursed' mentally. And If you're ALSO a-wondering on why Arthur's choice of curses aren't very... well a rather 'armed' army of curses it's because his adoptive parents taught him to say *insert a TON of bleeps here* like that. Moving on! "S-Suzy...?" Arthur tried.

Fred seriously didn't want to miss this, but that was before a certain green-eyed red-head came out of the blue holding a yellow teapot in one hand and a rag doll in the other. "Freeeeeeed! Oh, _there _you are!" said the green-eyed red-head (she's a _girl _by the way - and Fred's fiance-to-be *wink wink*). "I have been looking everywhere for you! And I MEAN everywhere, Freddie baby," she added, quickly pecking her 'baby' on the cheek. HELL YEAH! Save the hoorahs for later, Louise (and yes, she was the retarded lady who screamed out that Fred's hers).

Fred automatically turned red when Louise's lips made contact. "O-oh, y-y-yeah, what d'you w-w-want, Louise?" he stuttered slightly, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down when he gulped soon after (well... that was bound to happen).

Arthur and Suzy stopped having their silent communication (it went like this: _Suzy: Stupid, stupid stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid... Arthur: Ohhhh, man... _this _is the main reason why I nevah get involve with girls... Must they always be so damn scary? It's inhumane, for goodness' sakes! Suzy: *bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep* Arthur... I am soooooooooo gonna *bleeping bleep* you... Arthur: Grr-eat. NOW she's glaring daggers. She should've done that, like, 30 BILLION YEARS AGO!_) to flash a raising of eyebrows towards Fred and Louise's direction, it was mainly directed towards Fred though. This only made a certain Piper's Child turn much more red in reaction and turn his face away from the raising of eyebrows, making Arthur smirk in self-satisfaction, which made Suzy blush slightly when she saw how cute Artie looked like when he's smirking like 'that'. The reactions of the other three made the only red-head on the balcony become a bit confused to the situation.

Louise snapped herself out of her trance and started to drag Fred towards the hallway. "Let's go, Fred boy," she said, dragging Fred's body pass the suspicious-looking tuft of hair poking out of the curtains. _I _really _have to inspect that thing! _Fred thought as he eyed the tuft of hair suspiciously. _... Well, as soon as I'm released by this iron grip of Louise's. DAMN! When did she started to work out? Jeez, now _I _have to start working out (to impress her, duuuuuuhzzzzzzz)... _"To, you know, leave these two lovebirds alone?" Louise loudly added, making the two lovebirds (XD couldn't stop myself from adding, sorry) blush, Fred smirk, and two certain Noons give off very different reactions to very different things... Monday's Noon flinched when Wednesday's Noon slapped his fellow Noon's butt... If you're asking why... I don't know...

_I'm so gonna kill him. I'm so gonna kill him. I am _soooooooooooo _gonna KH-ILL HIM! _Monday's Noon mentally screamed, seething (how OOC of him O.o).

_Noon is soooooooo gonna thank me for killing that bumble bee that was lying around on his butt_, Sunscorch grinned, grinning much more grinnier when Noon turned around and gave him a 'look'.

Since Suzy and Artie over dar was too busy blushing and being caught up in the moment, the two didn't hear the loud (and dirty, hohohoho) butt-slap. Yes, the couple can differentiate slaps now. The two occupied Noons didn't notice, though, since they were preocccupied at the moment. Louise flashed Fred a what-was-THAT look before silently closing the glass sliding door that lead to the balcony, also leaving the two lovebirds-to-be by themselves.

"Ummm... so..." Arthur started when the sliding door leading to the balcony closed shut. "You like roller-skating chimps?" Obviously Artie here is trying to lighten up the mood between him and Suzy since the same kind of situation he was in just a few minutes ago was upon him once more.

Suzy's face hardened as she took a step forward, being a step closer than she was before (you know, I thank me for being sooooo practical). "Arthur..." Suzy whispered silently.

"Y-yes...?" Arthur gulped, nearly avoiding a shitting of the pants (is how Starfire would say).

Then... well 'then' got pretty weird. We-ell... not weird exactly. Things got, errmm... steamy? I guess that's up to you to decide since I'M not the reader (no, I just had to volunteer and be the review-worthy writer [*hint, hint*] - do you _know _how much TIME I have to waste writing these darned fan-fics?), you are. OK, so this happened; Suzy kissed Arthur. Very chaste-like, but STILL. Anyways, back to the kiss, will ya. Arthur's knees buckled and he nearly fell off his very unreliable at the moment legs when Suzy's lips unceremoniously crashed onto his. He was probably thinking, _OhmiGodohmiGodohmiGodohmiGod_, over and over again as they continued their kiss.

And on Suzy's side of the kiss, well... Suzy... hmmm, how do I explain/type this...? To Suzy the kiss was sudden to _her_, too. It was like something or some_one _inside her just wanted to feel that dense boy's lips on hers. There was even a slightest bit of shock (more like a huge block of it) inside of her when she felt and noticed herself deepening the kiss. Her already jumbled-up brain was screaming, _What the _heck _are you DOING, Suzy Turquiose BLUE? _as she did so. And what surprised her so much that could've blown every single one of Suzy very few brain cells - but _didn't _as it would make her dumber - was that said dense boy kissed her back.

And the same darn situation went with Arthur. He didn't have a clue when Suzy smushed her soft lips onto his, considering he still had onion breath from last night (due to his love for onion-flavoured mashed potatoes). But after what felt like 40 years, he got a hint and kissed her back, turning the chaste-like kiss into a very, err, non-chaste-like kiss? I don't know. But anyways, the kiss, unfortunately to some and fortunately to others, was viewed by a considerable number of people, err, denizens and two of the Piper's Children. Yes, it was the two Noons, Fred and his (ugh/YES) girlfriend.

They were all hiding behind the curtains since you were probably thinking, _Huuuuuuuuuh? _Well, a few minutes ago, the two Noons were busted by the two... swoons? Ehhh... NO. I give up, then. But since Louise was practically _dying _to see Artie and Suze have some 'action', and had most probably, to Fred's utter relief, forgot about the tea party that she'll be having with Miss Foget-Me-Not (a cute dolly version of Wasurenagusa Hikaru a.k.a. Hiwa and, to Hitsu-taicho, the most cockamamie but exceptionally cute girl in the world), Mister Fluffy Hair-chan (a more smaller version of Hitsugaya Toshirou, a.k.a. 'o' ice cube), Jay-Lo (Jennifer Lopez, just gotta luv her), and Reaper (for all of you who reads my other fan-fic would know), she forced Fred to join her with the two Noons.

Monday's Noon was somewhat relieved as he did not want to explain why he was spying on Suzy, whereas Sunscorch was a tad bit pissed since the dead bumble bee's friend had been hiding around somewhere in the corridor and was probably pissed at a certain Noon killing its friend so said bumble bee is currently pissing the chiz off of Wednesday's Noon.

The four sneaks and hiders drew in a sharp intake of air when they saw Suzy lean in towards Arthur and capture his lips - even Monday's Noon did so. Louise was thinking, _Awwwwww~ How sweeeeeeet~ Another pair of lovebirds are borned~_ as she practically squeezed the stuffing out of the rag doll in her hands in her utter anticipation at seeing Suzy wrapping her arms around her Arthur and deepening the kiss even more. The corners of Fred's mouth turned upwards into a small smirk when he saw his ever-so dense friend respond to Suzy's action by cupping her left cheek and wrapping his other unoccupied arm around Suzy's waist. Sunscorch blushed red when he saw the two make out, since it was very rare to see people/Denizens/Piper's Children (now this is even more rare, seeing CHILDREN make out - I'm sure as dumb as you probably are you'd know why) making out and it felt like he was intruding in their 'personal space'. Monday's Noon heart rate turned up a few notches for God (and me, da writer) knows why as his eyes caught Arthur and Suzy kissing themselves silly on the balcony.

Fred's (keeee-yute/yeah, riiiiiiiight) small smirk vanished (awwwww... poo.../shuddup, will you?/OK, OK... PMS much... sheesh.../I said; SHUDDUP/OKAY... b***h.../I _read _you!/really? Dang...) when he realized that they've been kissing for, like, 10 MINUTES! That was _waaaaaay _longer than he and Louise had EVAH kissed! Before he managed to catch himself, his eyes sneaked a glance towards his girlfriend. Louise, by the frigging way, was twirling a strand of her hair around her little pinky as she intently watched Suze and Art have their make-out session. Like the same way that she always does, she caught him looking, and winked slyly as if saying, _"What about later, hmm?" _

Fred's face flushed red and he turned his head away before he could, yet again, stop himself. "H-hey," whispered loudly to the pre-occupied others, "let's go."

"WHAT?" everybody else, not including Louise or Fred, though, scream-whispered. "WE DON'T WANNA!"

Fred raised an eyebrow at the two (so called) respected Noons. "What're you guys? Perverts?" he replied. "Well... I'm pretty sure Garth Nix didn't expected THAT to happen..."

On cue, the two perverted Noons exchanged what-the-heck's-he-talking-about? glances, while Louise innocently smiled on.

"But, meh. Who am I to judge a couple of homosexuals? Let's go, Louise. Artie and Suze is a bit caught up in their make-out session over there, so now's our cue. Laterzzz, gay-erzzz."

Louise waved goodbye to Sunscorch and Monday's Noon before making their leave.

"WE ARE _NOT _GAY-ERZZZ (whatever that is)!" Monday's Noon scream-whispered as the couple went off to have a little *ahem, ahem* behind the curtain next-door. "Psshhhh... right, Sunscorch?"

Sunscorch shyly looked away as he started to unbutton his T-shirt, which caused a cool-as-a-cucumber Noon turn beet red... and have a nose-bleed. Yes, the infamous Monday's Noon was having a nose-bleed. "W-what about that time at Margherita Night? We, ummm, did it in the closet, didn't we? And, okay, I'll admit, I guess slapping your butt to kill that bee gave me some benefits."

"S-S-Sunscorch...?" Monday's Noon stuttered, totally out of character and totally frazzled-looking.

... And I guess you yaoi-freaks can take it up from there. I can't write yaoi, that's just wrong. I'm practically breaking my own ground rules here. So, let your mind conjure up explanations on what happened on Margherita Night, what'd they do after Monday's Noon suddenly became so dang OOC, and, for you innocent readers out there, what does ol' Sunscorch mean when they "did it in the closet". Buuuuut if you want to know what _really _happened... review me, and I'll answer you the next time I check my e-mail.

And as for Arthur and Suzy... they were still smooching and (for those of you who are, like, silently screaming, _Oh for goodness' _sakes_! Gimme more info, stuuuuupid!_) Arthur's top is off. That is ALL the info I'll be giving. And, sorry, Suzy still has her dress on.

**Rexivyara:**Wow... Seriously... how should _I _know that an innocent dramatic steamy ArthurxSuzy romance fic would turn into a humorous fucked up (excuse me for not censoring this) ArthurxSuzy, FredxOC, and Monday's NoonxSunscorch (which equals to yaoi. And I am waaaaay out of my zone here. In fact, I hate yaoi. Oh well, I didn't think my readers expected it to come either) fan-fic? Nobody, I tell you. No-bod-ie.

**Wasurenagusa Hikaru:**Anyway, thanks for reading! Let's go, Mr. Fluffy Hair-chan!

**"Mr. Fluffy Hair-chan":** DON'T CALL ME THAT, WOMAN!

**Wasurenagusa Hikaru:** *tears up*

**"Mr. Fluffy Hair-chan":** Ohhhhh, hoogledy poogledy...

**Rexivyara:** And I promise to finish the 4th (or 5th?) Chapter to my current series. I had writer's block fo yo infomation. Well then... laterzzz, gay-erzzz.

**Chowder:** STOP COPYING ME!

**Rexivyara:** ...


End file.
